Well, I’ve been making my predictions for the NFL season since July. And so far, I think I’ve been pretty correct. Feel free to check my tweets to verify this. So here goes a big ass synopsis.

AFC WEST: 1. Chiefs, they have the best running attack and a youthful defense/special teams. They will keep most teams from scoring too many for their offense to keep up. The more controlled Cassel is, the more likely they are to win.

2. Chargers, despite injuries and contract disputes, this team is still pretty good. They can’t run the ball, and their defense is extremely suspect, but Rivers is the best QB in this division.

3. Raiders, it’s about time for them to win 8 games.. They have a lot of speed out there on both sides of the ball, and they have to get lucky sometime, right?

4. Broncos, fuck the broncos. Fuck Kenny McKinley. And they are extremely fragile. Can’t stay healthy, can’t win games. They will finish last in the division.

AFC SOUTH: 1. Texans, because they are overdue. They have all the pieces needed to usurp the Colts. Aerial weapons, a monster on the ground, solid lines on both sides of the ball, and play makers on that defense. They are a sleeper pik for the superbowl.

2. Colts, Peyton is the NFL’s golden guy. Everyone loves him. But the defense is far below average and the running game is almost as dead as Tony Dungy’s son. This year it catches up with them, and by “it” i don’t mean the ghost of Tony Dungy’s suicidal son, but rather I mean their one dimensional attack.

3. Titans, who cares who gets this spot? Not me. But with CJ rushing for almost 2000 again, and Young throwing the ball now, they will be pretty decent. The defense won’t maintain the high level of play for 16 games though.

4. Jaguars, they needed a QB and drafted like 5 DTs. STUPID. They don’t want to win in this division. Ever. It’s odd.

AFC EAST: 1. Jets, they have everything they need to finally win this division. And more than enough confidence to do so. Best defense, and a emerging star at QB. They are a safe pick for Superbowl contenders.

2. Patriots. OR Dolphins. I’m not quite sure here. This is the best division in football now. They have 3 teams with above average defenses, above average QBs, and excellent coaching staffs. Miami’s season is solely based on how well Henne plays with Marshall. New England needs to be able to run the ball consistently or they will end up like the Colts.

3. See Above.

4. Bills, Boy I Love Losing Superbowls. And regular season games. They at least have a strong sense of tradition.

AFC NORTH: 1. Ravens, this team is going to the Superbowl. Bottom line. They aren’t even healthy and are still looking pretty damn good on defense. Once Flacco gets used to having all those aerial weapons, he will be the seasons MVP. And Ray Rice isn’t healthy either, just so you know.

2. Steelers, Big Ben will come back and throw off the chemistry and be a bit of a distractions till. He will make Mendenhall’s carries decline, and thus, the defense will be on the field more. That will allow teams to wear them out. They will still be tough in the NFL though, maybe even get a wildcard.

3. Bengals, they made a very “pretty” move, but what did it really do? Are they looking any better? No. They still look sloppy when they have the pass first mentality, and if not for the defense, they would be winless.

4. Browns, I wish I had a clever acronym for them like I did for the Bills. They are in the same boat. Wait, I’m a poet. Let’s try something… Browns Really Often Win Not Shit. Eh. My effort was as poor as the teams effort is.

NFC WEST: 1. 49ers, I picked them, and am sticking with them. They still have the best run game over there, and the best defense over there. Singletary will right the ship, figure out the offense, and get the defense to wake up. Plus, even with an 0-3 start, they are easily going to catch the Rams and Cards.

2. Seahawks, is Pete Carrol really going to make this team legit again? Lol. Maybe. Plus now, his players are SUPPOSED to get paid. Hasselback won’t hold up, bottom line. Say hello to Charlie Whitehurst is 3 more weeks. Translation, team gets worse.

3. Rams, Bradford will be good… Very good. And SJAX is a beast when healthy. Hopefully they find a viable option at WR. And the defense isn’t look too bad.

4. Cardinals, no QB, un healthy starting RB, and the defense looks streaky. ‘Nuff said.

NFC SOUTH: 1. I picked the Saints to win this division, but this was before Reggie Bush was hurt. With his injury, they will struggle to score points and they will lost a lot more games. Probably finish 10-6…

One game behind the ATL Falcons who will finish 11-5. Their defense is the best in the division, and their offense in the best in the division with Saints losing Bush. So if the Falcons don’t choke and fail to step up to the plate, they will win this division, and destroy half as many lives as Katrina did. Ouch, right? Lol.

2. See above.

3. Bucaneers, this spot is a toss up. Freeman looks good, but who else does?

And the Panthers have no one looking above shitty. But they still have a better defense than the Bucs and a better running attack too.  So who knows? Who cares? “Not I” said McFly.

4. See Above.

NFC EAST: 1. Cowboys… much like the AFC EAST, this division is ridiculously even. I expect Dallas to win it, but only after Vick runs out of magic, gets hurt, gets traded, or when Kolb becomes the starter again lol.. Dallas is the best team overall, bottom line.

2. Eagles, you already know where they are coming up short, right? Vick makes them explosive. The o-line makes Vick crippled. Defense makes the offense work harder, and andy reid sucks. Bottom line.

3/4. The last two teams could finish anywhere. Neither one looks impressive enough to talk about.

NFC NORTH: 1. Packers have the best QB and best defense in the division and possibly the conference. God forbid they find a running game. They will win out and survive the revamped Bears.

2. Bears are rejuvenated. On both sides. Cutler because of Martz, Forte because of Cutler and Martz relationship, and the defense because of Peppers. They have the best LBs and one of the best front 7’s in football. Lovie Smith just has to get them to play together consistently.

3/4. Lions. Jahvid Best will explode week in and week out. If Stafford comes back and can perform, and if they find another receiver, they can beat the Vikings out for the third spot. Vikings though, if they keep running how they are can get the 3 spot. Rice returning won’t do much. So it’s all up to the Lions to win or lose this spot.

My computer messed up and wouldn’t save the full version, so I’m stopping now. Lol. That is all, good night.


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