Late Night Clarity

Late Night Clarity

I submit myself to you
My thoughts to be translated
My heart to be dissected
And my ways to be berated.
My reasons for my actions
Are from fear of your reactions
I care what people think
So my emotions I ration.
I want to be perceived as cold
Uncaring unflinching
But impulsive and bold
But too scared to love, my heart is tensing.
It’s sad to think ill live alone
Be content in an empty home
But I am my own man
Result of my own grooming, I am what I have grown.
Built in a way to get over things quickly
Say goodbye to whoever, know nothing of missing
Only seek lust, treat love as a myth see
And lie through my tears, through my eyes so misty.
Glistening and bright
are my flaws in life
I realize I must change
But I’m too scared to fight.
The struggle is too tough
The road too rough
Because when I love or trust
It’s still never enough.
So I’ll keep on trying to become someone worthy
Meanwhile smile and laugh to mask my hurting
I’ll look through the glass
At the life I could have
But for my fear that it wouldn’t last
I’ll turn and walk away, somewhat glad
Because it’s clear that you can only be happy
When I live my life sad.

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