Wearing a Tux to a Funeral


I wrap myself in you
Use you to keep me warm
Let you cover my skin
Use you to keep me calm

This suit I wear
Is threaded with my sorrows
Sewn together by empty promises
And never coming tomorrow’s
And the tie that I shall borrow?

Is a noose for my neck
No more attention seeking
Just fulfilling threats
Suicide is what I get

For wearing my emotions on a sleeve
Because I left myself open
And this world is full of thieves
That snatch away my heart, never to be retrieved

I grieve
Handkerchief, pressed against eyes
Consoled with her hand on my back
My hand is on her thighs

And this is what I called love
Her having my back
Not knowing the whole time
It was there to give a tap

A nudge and a push
From the edge of this chair
The tie starts to tighten
I start to gasp for air

Grasping at straws
Wishing you were there
To lift me up above the torment
But instead my neck snaps, fuck this isn’t fair

Blood dripping from my nose
Ruining my clothes
Destroying all my hope
My shoes were shiny once
But now they’re just soaked

In the blood and the tears
In my sorrows and my fears
The promises never completed
I realize this is what defeat is

The feat is
Making my mind fade
This suit I imagined on my body
I’d rather it be a blade
Not to cut myself down but instead to just shave

And cut away these feelings
Carve them shits from my soul
My spirit is left wanting, it’s just riddled with holes
Because I yearned for something more than what life had to offer
And still all I got was life’s only guarantee, my very own coffin

Nothing on this earth is promised
Except pain
Nothing’s like my tears, I promise
Except rain

So let me flood these motherfuckers
With the taste of salt, and disdain
Because trying to have feelings
Trying to have children
Trying to live a life
Trying to love a wife
Is just another impossible promise
That God uses to taunt me and drive me insane



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