1/12

The Dozens

1/12

It’s like… 2 am and I swear I can’t sleep

Try to will myself to dream, but my will is too weak

I lay still as time kills, trying to count some fucking sheep 

But I’m scared to shut my eyes, nightmares are on the creep
Sheesh, this shit is deep, my brain won’t stop the run 

Climbing through my thoughts, but a mountain they’ve become

From right here I look down and it’s all so scary

Reflecting on my past and skeletons I thought were buried 

It’s hectic how my ass has managed to manage what I carry

Baggage swinging all around and I just pivot and parry 
Deflecting all the questions, dress my outsides up nice

Provide a front for all your eyes, but it’s really just a slice

Of the pie made of lies that I serve you on the daily

To get to the roots I’ll use a pen and speak the truth like Alex Haley
My Rolodex of memories seems to be outdated 

And filled with outcasts

Lists of people that I allowed my ego to outlast 

Things would get tough and I would just pull out masks

To hide my face or make you wanna hide yours

It was brutal how I was as a kid, did no chores

Only committed crimes and tried to cause pain 

Because my mind frame, was a little bit stained

And tainted and tarnished, it needed a newer varnish 

But I was sick from the jump, I couldn’t tell you how it started
But I can tell you how it finished

Me mistreating some women

Making them all suffer

because my love was just

tougher

Our path was just rougher

And you couldn’t handle that shit so you became the disrupter

You became the disturbed and I became the perturbed

Eventually we both ended up being the one on the curb
And man that all hurts, and I don’t cope too well

I need to find something to help, maybe a hopeful spell 

I feel hopeless hell, because I’ve seen the worst of life

I just don’t react too it, I’m nonchalant to the strife

Because my path is socio

My logic is very psycho

So when I’m smiling it might mean that I really do not like you
Maybe not. 
Either way I found ways to play victim

Blamed it on whoever had ears and they would listen 

Anybody could get it, anybody could witness

The fact that I was spewing lies, blaming these women for my afflictions 
Born with these issues that I pushed on others

But that’s too much for part 1, look through the rest of the dozens 

  

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