Ascension of my Alzheimer’s

I recall being enthralled 

Captivated by your calls

Aggravated with any pause

In our time together

It gave me daily withdrawals

Needle in my vein

Needless to say that in my brain

My heroine was my heroin

My heroin made me narrow with

Options of how I could kick habits

Harrowed by the thought of our high not lasting

Blasting my way through the nostalgia we once shared

Glossing over all the fights and how we each faired

Paired with my lies are visions of a dream

But they’re fading so fast I search for my esteem

And it’s gone, nonexistent 

Can’t remember where I spent it

But I know myself that it was wagered

Against the love that I once favored

I lost it all, whole lot wasted on a table

Hooked on your drug, roll pot thinking of our fable

Stable is what I’m not

Capable of seeing the plot

But so jaded by your love

That my addiction couldn’t stop

I used to love you for your mammaries 

Now I don’t love you, just our memories

And those are becoming transparent 

As I flirt with what’s apparent:

the past is the past; What we had didn’t last

And I’m left forgetting about forever

Writing as therapy trying to make my thoughts sound clever

But it never translates from brain to the page

I can’t do our past justice so why do I even engage?

Enraged at the fact that we couldn’t maintain

Encaged by the thoughts that what we had has now raised

And ascended to evaporate, be one with the clouds

Spending eternity sprawling in the sky while I’m high on the ground

And I sigh at the sound 

Of things that make me think of a better time

I’m stuck trying to recall a time when I ever smiled

Tick tick, Alzheimer’s, soon come is my fate 

Running so long from it I’ve forgotten loves face

But Time has never met loss 

And all my loss comes with time

I can’t remember a better love

Can’t think of a better rhyme

I’m stuck with an incomplete picture or puzzle 

Pieces all in disarray

I’m trying to remember anything but depression

But my mind can’t turn past this page

And can’t seem to fathom ever feeling loved
So I remind myself, by staring at the clouds up above

Ascension of my Alzheimer’s 

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