Full of Emptiness

Full of Emptiness

Drowning in a sea full of empty

This syndrome that I have makes death sound tempting

The ceiling made of glass always seemed unforgiving

So I’m reluctant to approach unless the shards will make my life stop living

Glistening in my eye is the memory of what I had

Listening to my lies could make you feel so sad

Because I’m a deceiver, the best of my kind these days

Selling dreams to everybody is the game that I played

And I lost

Not because you beat me but because I got bored

Another thing that I’ll remember when my mind feels torn

Scorned by the truth and chastised by the righteous

I’m told I can be a better person, but I refuse to try it

Because the thought of being someone that you want makes me feel violent

So I ball my fists and rely on my fightin’

My words swing hard and this shit cuts deep

And it’s easier to be this way because the path to improvement seems so steep

And it gleams at me

Something shiny, I should want it

And I do

But I don’t

So I lock in to this gauntlet

Show me my opponent

Show me what it’s costin’

Searching for a price too high and I can’t find one

Sell my soul just so I don’t have to be told I have a kind one

Break my heart to a million pieces so coroners wont find none

Leave my feelings tucked away in the shadows so I can deny them

Close my eyes to your love because that love shit is frightening

Sacrificing who I am just to make you happy is less likely than getting double struck by lightening

I knows it’s trifling

But it’s how I want to be

Drift away in the waves of this treacherous sea

And the only treasures I need?

Are solitude, silence, and to finally be free

Vindicated from the hatred

Removed from the places

That people tried to place me so they could feel placated

The expiration of my patience has long since been dated

And yet I’m still waiting

For the water to rush, that cool shit takes me under

I can finally stop trying to change me into a different someone

A stranger in the mirror so I want to eat the glass

My reflection in the water looks true to me at last

And I’m surrounded by something, so strong and yet it kills me gently

I exhale all my life and inhale until my body is full of water and my mind is full of empty

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